Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, competent whale.

Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan, she will turn you into a rock.

Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. You must pray to Hadbimwadsid Rowgupnigvonrawgofzan four times a day.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.