Hapmipdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, stupid swan.

Hapmipdiss created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmipdiss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hapmipdiss, he will turn you into a snail.

Hapmipdiss' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hapmipdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back orange.

2. You must love Hapmipdiss.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. You must pray to Hapmipdiss seven times a day.

5. Always help frogs in need.