Botgupcenneldagquarttarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring manatee.

Botgupcenneldagquarttarp created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Botgupcenneldagquarttarp, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Botgupcenneldagquarttarp, he will boil you in a big pot.

Botgupcenneldagquarttarp's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Botgupcenneldagquarttarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing yellow shorts and balancing four silver spheres on your arms.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Do not keep six badgers in a large pit.