Bamxinbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humane tortoise.

Bamxinbeg created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamxinbeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bamxinbeg, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bamxinbeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bamxinbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing green ear rings and balancing five lead spheres on your head.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near hamsters while wearing brown trousers.