Negtarpcatmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, slow bird.

Negtarpcatmeg created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Negtarpcatmeg, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Negtarpcatmeg, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Negtarpcatmeg's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Negtarpcatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta hats.

2. Always obey Negtarpcatmeg's priests.

3. Never sprint in the presence of capybaras.

4. Never think about special relativity near turtles while wearing purple kilts and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

5. Do not covet oxen.