Ruttstignurl is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic crocodile.

Ruttstignurl created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttstignurl, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttstignurl, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ruttstignurl's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ruttstignurl's Holy Commandments

1. Ruttstignurl must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away from blue ants, for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.