Fagmitpid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing squirrel.

Fagmitpid created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagmitpid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fagmitpid, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fagmitpid's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fagmitpid's Holy Commandments

1. Fagmitpid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never paint your back green.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Fagmitpid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing purple dresses.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagmitpid.