Gabstigmet is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow penguin.

Gabstigmet created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabstigmet, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gabstigmet, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gabstigmet's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gabstigmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Run away if seven moths approach from the west.