Fitnanmot is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unselfish dryad.

Fitnanmot created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnanmot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fitnanmot, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fitnanmot's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fitnanmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Retreat if four grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your head fawn.