Lipfodnab Cutgembig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast pig.

Lipfodnab Cutgembig created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipfodnab Cutgembig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lipfodnab Cutgembig, he will boil you in a big pot.

Lipfodnab Cutgembig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lipfodnab Cutgembig's Holy Commandments

1. Lipfodnab Cutgembig loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to seals while wearing black hats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Never think about spacetime.