Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ruthless dog.

Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab, he will cry a lot.

Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from purple foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never feed limes to tortoises while wearing mauve shirts.

4. Erect four iron sculptures of Tinrillortzagmipripjonyar Dambabnab on top of important buildings.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.