Sandciddon is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, capable guinea pig.

Sandciddon created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandciddon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sandciddon, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sandciddon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Sandciddon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Sandciddon on top of all buildings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear turquoise ear rings.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.