Tiprowtab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable cat.

Tiprowtab created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiprowtab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiprowtab, she will turn you into a goat.

Tiprowtab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tiprowtab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never talk about snakes.