Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet scorpion.

Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit, he will turn you into a plant.

Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Monlarphad Pombomvil Bomcebwit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five doves approach from the south.

2. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the east.

3. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing red stockings and balancing eight silver spheres on your back.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.