Jarnbimlam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent shark.

Jarnbimlam created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbimlam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jarnbimlam, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jarnbimlam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Jarnbimlam's Holy Commandments

1. Jarnbimlam loves cats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Always help sick dolphins.