Bigdabhad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy bat.

Bigdabhad created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigdabhad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bigdabhad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bigdabhad's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bigdabhad's Holy Commandments

1. Always store cucumbers above ground.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing purple kilts and balancing four titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

5. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.