Looplegzig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthoughtful clam.

Looplegzig created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Looplegzig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Looplegzig, he will turn you into a slug.

Looplegzig's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Looplegzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Erect five zinc sculptures of Looplegzig on top of important buildings.