Fumyarllarg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy gorilla.

Fumyarllarg created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumyarllarg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumyarllarg, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fumyarllarg's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fumyarllarg's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat spinach.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. Never eat parsnips on days of mourning.

4. Never feed peas to voles while wearing brown kilts.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.