Tonkwodbab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving sheep.

Tonkwodbab created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkwodbab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkwodbab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tonkwodbab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tonkwodbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Do not fashion tools from tin.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never talk about fire.