Zagtimstig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, weak bat.

Zagtimstig created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtimstig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagtimstig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zagtimstig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zagtimstig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about nebulae.