Loopnuttmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, smart dolphin.

Loopnuttmat created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopnuttmat, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Loopnuttmat, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Loopnuttmat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Loopnuttmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.