Nurlgonquam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful pigeon.

Nurlgonquam created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgonquam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlgonquam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurlgonquam's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Nurlgonquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Nurlgonquam on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about optics near doves while wearing blue kilts and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

4. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Nurlgonquam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Nurlgonquam loves cats, so they must be honoured.