Bagzogapp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable lion.

Bagzogapp created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagzogapp, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagzogapp, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bagzogapp's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bagzogapp's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bagzogapp.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Run away if three horses approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help doves.