Vegmetsomnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, competent tapir.

Vegmetsomnurl created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegmetsomnurl, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vegmetsomnurl, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vegmetsomnurl's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vegmetsomnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Never feed nuts to porpoises while wearing trousers.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Always stare at clouds.