Daprenjad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ill-tempered goat.

Daprenjad created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Daprenjad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Daprenjad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Daprenjad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Daprenjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Always look after injured horses.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide if nine monkeys approach from the south.