Bitdodnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, stupid armadillo.

Bitdodnurt created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitdodnurt, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bitdodnurt, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bitdodnurt's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bitdodnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Bitdodnurt loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.