Kopbassnell is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, smart mouse.

Kopbassnell created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopbassnell, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kopbassnell, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kopbassnell's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kopbassnell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Kopbassnell in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near swans while wearing cyan trousers and balancing three silver spheres on your back.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing purple tights.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.