Zimtadpod Hunfed is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking gnu.

Zimtadpod Hunfed created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimtadpod Hunfed, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zimtadpod Hunfed, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zimtadpod Hunfed's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zimtadpod Hunfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Do not keep six aardvarks in a large pit.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Never hop in winter.

5. Never paint your back purple.