Fempaklan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, quiet monkey.

Fempaklan created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Fempaklan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fempaklan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fempaklan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fempaklan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Fempaklan on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat green fruit.