Metdonkim is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, capable human.

Metdonkim created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Metdonkim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Metdonkim, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Metdonkim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Metdonkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. You must pray to Metdonkim five times a day.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect four gold sculptures of Metdonkim on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Metdonkim.