Flapstancabxensagzed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful camel.

Flapstancabxensagzed created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapstancabxensagzed, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flapstancabxensagzed, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Flapstancabxensagzed's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flapstancabxensagzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flapstancabxensagzed.

5. Never play with disobedient children.