Dumlegbif is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, quiet troll.

Dumlegbif created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Dumlegbif, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dumlegbif, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Dumlegbif's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dumlegbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Never think about dark matter near doves while wearing violet shirts and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.