Mitpaksat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ill-tempered jackal.

Mitpaksat created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitpaksat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mitpaksat, he will turn you into a snail.

Mitpaksat's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mitpaksat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Mitpaksat.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat tomatoes.