Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, smart hedgehog.

Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Timminsatrapsawrilmobcud's name in vain.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not keep seven bats in a large pit.

4. Run away from black great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.