Loopvansin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, boastful pig.

Loopvansin created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvansin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Loopvansin, it will turn you into a slug.

Loopvansin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Loopvansin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near doves.

2. Loopvansin loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near shrews while wearing black jumpers and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never hop in holy places.