Gunnarlpit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic deer.

Gunnarlpit created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gunnarlpit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gunnarlpit, he will be very sad.

Gunnarlpit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gunnarlpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. Learn four new languages a year.