Tadnut is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, able monkey.

Tadnut created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadnut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tadnut, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tadnut's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tadnut's Holy Commandments

1. Tadnut loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.