Tif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, strong dryad.

Tif created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tif, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tif, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tif's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tif's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must pray to Tif five times a day.