Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, thoughtless wasp.

Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flagstragsaw Ditbugmot Ontget's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about gravity near monkeys while wearing mauve scarves and balancing six lead spheres on your chest.

5. Do not drink alcohol.