Jatbumfob is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow gorilla.

Jatbumfob created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatbumfob, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jatbumfob, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Jatbumfob's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jatbumfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help sick porpoises.