Gubhaspin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gubhaspin created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubhaspin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gubhaspin, she will make you grow a tail.

Gubhaspin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gubhaspin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Erect seven tin sculptures of Gubhaspin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always remove skirts before touching titanium.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.