Stigsisgom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, calm swan.

Stigsisgom created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigsisgom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stigsisgom, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stigsisgom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Stigsisgom's Holy Commandments

1. Stigsisgom loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Stigsisgom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.