Fetsidfarnwee is a god.

She takes the form of a small, self-assured aardvark.

Fetsidfarnwee created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetsidfarnwee, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fetsidfarnwee, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fetsidfarnwee's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Fetsidfarnwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Worship no other gods but Fetsidfarnwee.

3. Hide from red swans for they are unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetsidfarnwee.

5. Run away if seven horses approach from the west.