Dapkikgesskikruttgil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless hyena.

Dapkikgesskikruttgil created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapkikgesskikruttgil, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dapkikgesskikruttgil, it will turn you into a mole.

Dapkikgesskikruttgil's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dapkikgesskikruttgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not prepare onions while wearing trousers.

5. Never eat lemons on days of mourning.