Lagdotwod is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing porpoise.

Lagdotwod created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagdotwod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lagdotwod, he will torture you forever.

Lagdotwod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Lagdotwod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise tapirs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not stand on grass.