Nelkippid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome pig.

Nelkippid created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkippid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nelkippid, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nelkippid's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Nelkippid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. You must pray to Nelkippid five times a day.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.