Kadmanpad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, kind otter.

Kadmanpad created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kadmanpad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kadmanpad, she will turn you into a rat.

Kadmanpad's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kadmanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Kadmanpad loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Do not take Kadmanpad's name in vain.

5. Never hurt hamsters.