Laprotflowsindoss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful goat.

Laprotflowsindoss created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Laprotflowsindoss, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laprotflowsindoss, it will destroy your home solar system.

Laprotflowsindoss' most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Laprotflowsindoss' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laprotflowsindoss.

2. Always remove ear rings before touching carbon.

3. Put Laprotflowsindoss first in all things.

4. Hide from yellow squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.