Bassparkdub is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, weak hyena.

Bassparkdub created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassparkdub, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bassparkdub, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bassparkdub's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bassparkdub's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never hop in the presence of swans.