Bastbogfat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate gnu.

Bastbogfat created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastbogfat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bastbogfat, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bastbogfat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bastbogfat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Bastbogfat loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never talk about doves.