Tadgutfon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, duplicitous fairy.

Tadgutfon created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Tadgutfon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tadgutfon, he will send you a sign.

Tadgutfon's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tadgutfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tadgutfon.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Do not wear rings marked with yellow.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.