Camparkpin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish elephant.

Camparkpin created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camparkpin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Camparkpin, he will think nothing of it.

Camparkpin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Camparkpin's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with cyan.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.