Nurtsabxin is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, happy faun.

Nurtsabxin created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsabxin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nurtsabxin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtsabxin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nurtsabxin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nurtsabxin on top of all buildings.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Learn three new languages a year.