Pincanveg Rulmonlam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciless hedgehog.

Pincanveg Rulmonlam created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pincanveg Rulmonlam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pincanveg Rulmonlam, he will remove you from existence.

Pincanveg Rulmonlam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Pincanveg Rulmonlam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Hide from turquoise grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.