Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome newt.

Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gidbopmifrot Hasqueegwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with pink markings.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not record secrets concerning asteroids.

5. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing violet ear rings and balancing four silicon spheres on your chest.