Motxinbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, smart fish.

Motxinbonk created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Motxinbonk, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Motxinbonk, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Motxinbonk's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Motxinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three doves approach from the west.

2. Do not prepare peas while filled with envy.

3. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. You must never eat garlic.