Bigyimjan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty troll.

Bigyimjan created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigyimjan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bigyimjan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bigyimjan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bigyimjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Bigyimjan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bigyimjan.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.