Satbannar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured swan.

Satbannar created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Satbannar, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Satbannar, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Satbannar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Satbannar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.